Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
