My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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