oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
