her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
