I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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