I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
