She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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