Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
