Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
