If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
