I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
