Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize