drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize