I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize