first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
