i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
