some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
