Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
