Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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