She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
