Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
