in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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