my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She told me I should be a condom model.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
