But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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