I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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