So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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