just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
