And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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