It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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