Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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