Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
