whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize