last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
A+ Viking dick
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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