I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
