A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
