Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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