I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
bring money and cleavage
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
