i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
