he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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