i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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