Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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