Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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