id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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