That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize