At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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