I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize