Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We need to rekindle our bromance
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
