My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
