Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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