i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
