Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
