you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
