just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
