oh god the rape fog is back!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
