I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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