i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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