no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i think my cat just said my name.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
