they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
