toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
