They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
