I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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