I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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