Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
