I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
