hotel room ftw
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
