Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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