I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
