WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
