weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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